Visitors, Packing, and Taking Care of Me

Greg's sister Susan, bro-in-law John, and niece Abigail arrived last night after eight at Dad & Mom Edwards. We went out to have dinner with them, and a visit. We didn't leave until 11:30! Cole is staying out there - he and Abby play so well together. The rest of my kids...are still sleeping! It's 9:44 in the morning people! Greg is off doing his morning run, and I am here in quietness enjoying some time just reading, thinking, meditating. *sigh* So nice.

I watched for a few minutes as a woodpecker flew around the back yard trying to peck his way into some different items. I guess he discovered our window frame and the aluminum screen doors aren't great options. :)

Mom E. has a Bible study on Thursday mornings, so to give her some time and space, John & Susan are coming in late this afternoon, and I think we're going boating. Depends on the weather.

I got some packing and cleaning done yesterday thanks to Chrissie, Anissa, and Andrea. Chrissie took Cole and Brett out for a few hours, Anissa packed, and Andrea did some dishes and helped me fold laundry. I am blessed by my community!

Today I have an appointment to go get some waxing done. I know it might seem like a painful way to "relax", but I feel so special when I get to spend some time on myself like that.

I need to keep working at the laundry and start on some more sorting and packing. And I need to get boxes! It is very hard to find places that keep boxes!

I Just Want to Be Secure

I am insecure. I don't appear to be. I look confident, and capable, and maybe sometimes I even come across in a negative way. But really, I'm insecure. I have this need for other people's approval, and no matter what I'm doing, inevitably at some point I will be having conversations in my head with whoever it is that would come to mind in that particular situation. These conversations never even happen! Greg was sharing with me that on Sunday, Matt was talking about our need for approval. It's like an addiction - this need that is in so many of us. Lots of us deny, either to ourselves or others, that we even feel the need for it, but it's there. It drives us. I would say that for the most part I've been able to overcome those feelings enough to do things for the right reason, but I just don't even want to go there in my mind, ya know? So how do I overcome this? I can fight it, and physically do the right thing, and make my choices/actions based on God's will and approval, BUT the mental and emotional battle is still there. I just want to be free of it all. It's good that I've grown enough to continue to do the right thing even if I feel insecure and lack of approval, but that's not enough. I don't even want to go down that road in the first place.

God, please remove this insecurity from me, this need for approval. I will continue to make the choices, and take the steps that are in direct opposition to this negative mindset. But I need You to help me as I do this. How will I get free from this? My only answer is You. Please don't leave me here. I need you. I love you.

Saturday

I have had a cold since Thursday. The kids have been extra difficult - or maybe just because I'm not feeling well, and Greg's been so busy wrapping up things for the summer, it SEEMS they are acting up. I know they are boys. And need to be outside. I am so looking forward to our new hosue when we can send 'em out when we see the inevitable bursts of energy taking over. This house is large, so they do have some indoor running room, but it's just not the same as outside. I'm looking forward to getting them all on their bikes and learning to ride really well. Well, Cole on his bike, Luke on his tricycle, and Brett doesn't have anything yet, but we'll go look for something for him soon. Our driveway is great for bike riding, esp. little ones still learning.

I'm so desperate to get this house packed up, and yet so overwhelmed by the everyday maintenance that seems to fall further and further behind. Today Greg took all the kids out of the house for a couple of hours, and I CLEANED the kitchen, entry and living room. Not just tidy and a quick vacuum, but actually scrubbed the counters and floors. It's so nice to have it clean. No sticky floors. :) I have to get lots more sorting and purging done before packing. Someone suggested oh just throw it all in boxes and deal with it at the new house. Not a good idea. We've done that before. The result? Your "stuff" and junk follow you house to house, and never get dealt with or organized. I have a visual of how I'd like the house to look once it's all unpacked, and it's a minimalist country cottage look, with lots of open space, no clutter, piles of paper, or other crap allowed.

I must go take advantage of my last few minutes of alone time. Laundry anyone?

Another Day

Well, poor Luke was sick yesterday and I thought was better today. He had fever and wasn't active yesterday, but today he threw up a few times - once on my back as I was piggy-backing him! Oh, to be a mom! :)

I am very much looking forward to Greg being home more next week (his schedule is changing because school is done on Friday). I'm anticipating much better results from the attempts at sorting and packing with him around to help with kids.

Holley is coming tomorrow to stay inside with the kids for a while so I can do some work in the back yard - something I'm very much looking forward to being able to do much more of once we move! I have never really done much gardening but would like to. I even have space for a veggie garden at our new house. But tomorrow is just cleaning up the back yard a bit. Our landlord called today to say they've decided to go ahead and open up the pool for the summer, so we'll get to enjoy it for a few weeks before moving. And it will be that much more enjoyable if the yard is nice. So Greg mowed tonight before the thunderstorm hit, and I'm going out in the morning to work for a while.

So, I'm saying a prayer that Luke's the only one who gets this flu, the rest of us stay well, he recovers quickly, and everything continues on course!

Goodnight!

God, I need motivation!!!

Lately I've been feeling VERY tired a lot, and I know our schedule is all wacky. Neither Greg nor I are sleeping well lately (last night we were both too hot - when Brett ended up in our bed, we both went to different beds to sleep where it was cooler - I ended up with him in the bed downstairs after sleeping in Brett's bed for a few hours - talk about musical beds!). I'm sure it's the excitement, but what it's doing is making me feel very tired and lazy and unmotivated. I got quite a bit of laundry done up this morning (sooo far behind on that), and Greg's going to take the young 'uns this afternoon on the van, and I'm going to work, work, work! I just need to stay motivated. We're so anxious to just get moved into our new house, but I don't want to just pack up our stuff and go; I want to sort, purge and organize so that moving in is simple and quick, and our new house doesn't start out so disorganized. I'm craving space and lack of "stuff", so that's my goal over the next few weeks til moving day. We had a great Father's Day boating with Christine and Luke White. Christine is AMAZING!!! Our church family is so blessed to have her. We have been approved for respite funding from Family and Community Services and she's agreed to be our "worker" (babysitter). That's provision for sure. Well, I must get back to work!

Happy Father's Day! Honoring my father: He became a daddy at a very young age. But he was really good at it! Looking back there were hurts and disappointments for sure, but in the midst of everything he had to deal with on his own, and being so young, he did a great job! I love you, Dad! Honoring my husband: He was opposite to my dad. He was 34 when he became a dad. But he also is wonderful at it! I can't begin to describe how it added to the depth of my love for him to see him loving on our children. He has an extravagant father's heart, and I'm sure other's would criticize him for "spoiling" his children. But it's not spoiling, it's this crazy huge extravagant heart of his for those he loves, and it is so precious and amazing to me. I love watching him develope right along with our children. I love you more than words can say, Greg!! We got Greg a propellor for his boat for Father's Day. Unfortunately something's up with the design of it that makes it not work with our boat, so he is sending it back. Disappointing, but it will be fun to have the new one come back, likely just as we're moving into our new house! Luke's graduation from preschool was Friday. He was of course funny as ever. They did several songs, and he loves doing the actions and "groovin'" right along. He was afraid of the puppets though! Anyway, he has a little less activity for the summer, more just play time, which I'm glad for. I want his schedule to start becoming normal and more like ours. He's had a wonderful year - I'm so proud of his progress.

Bah! I had typed up a whole new LONG post Tuesday evening, and didn't finish it. Was finishing it up on Wednesday, and LOST IT!!! :( Since then I have been attempting to get back on and rewrite at least some of it, but blogger's been down a lot. So here I am, but now I don't have the motivation to write it all again.

Short version: we have the house. I still don't believe it. Today we're dealing with a hiccup, and I am BELIEVING God that it won't change a thing. Just something to do with the down-payment. I KNOW God has the best in mind for us, so for now I'm choosing NOT to panic.

I had Eliana in to the ped. the other day. She lost more weight, but said it could be the differences in the scales. She was scheduled for bloodwork today, but they changed it because Dr. Henderson wanted to add some more tests to the order. They are also doing some stool samples. So they are testing her for everything from parasites to seliac's disease to cystic fibrosis. He feels it's only a calorie issue - says she doesn't look or act sick at all, but these are just precautionary. Until then I am to add a bit of formula to her diet. If she were younger I would have a hard time with that, but she's 10&1/2 mos. now, so it's not a big deal.

God, take control of everything for us, because we have no answers.

IT'S OURS!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!

We now own 24 Lodge Lane, in Prince William, New Brunswick. It is waterfront property. The house is beautiful, the driveway charming, and there are many mallard ducks running about freely. It's a perfect place for children to grow up! THANK YOU GOD!!!!